january 2026.happy new year
christmas didn't make me too down this year. i've been trying to be better about enjoying holidays, celebrating and enjoying life as a deliberate action, not expecting it like a natural state. but i usually try saying happy new year as many times as i can. speaking into existance and manifesting and all that.
i came here to try and list things i did positively this year. i stopped using spotify. i tried making a compost bin (kept it small though..). i inherited a coffee grinder, so now it's easier to try and get fair trade stuff. naturally i've gotten picky with my coffee, and with the new blog i'm turning into a stereotype..
i feel like i could make a longer list of my failures, especially overlooked tasks i call "life admin" stuff. insurance and paperwork and taxes. a neverending line of hoops to jump through. i've settled awfully into being a hermit.
maybe i try to talk to more people? i know some local groups i've been meaning to check out. once it gets to that last jump, it's harder to do. also, i'd like to post more art, focus on creating rather than consuming, or just numbing myself. really, a few weeks ago i get up my old TV from high school next to my main one so i can watch things and game at the same time. finally joining the future. not sure how embarrassed i am of this
november 2025.diary intro
i've had a few journals in my life. most end up peetering out unless i feel bad enough i trust no one, not even myself, beyond a page to sort myself out. it helps more to have an intention set. i will be *this* personal or focus on *that* aspect of my life. letting myself be public feels very similar to intention. while i like to consider myself a writer i am unhappy with the amount that i (don't) write. shortly after making this page i went without a computer for just under year due to an unfortunate mistake shorting my old laptop. a lot happened. a lot continues to happen.
maybe you want a real introduction... too bad. I'm still working on making myself presentable, let alone this page. i called myself a writer, i really just love books and being creative. whatever happened to my attention span makes reading difficult but i love linear progress and keep coming back. the creative process, recovery, other things worth the effort, don't always work like that. i keep myself writing with the promise to myself I can go back edit if i no longer want it up.
does everyone need to give themselves permission like that?
hi and thanks for coming. there isn't much here quite yet.